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O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

I don’t like this Litany.  It just seems wrong to my humanity at times

From the desire of being esteemed, I wish to be recognized for who God has made me to be, not more not less
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…, I want to be loved
From the desire of being extolled …OK
From the desire of being honored …OK but would be nice if it was proper
From the desire of being praised …I like being affirmed
From the desire of being preferred to others…OK
From the desire of being consulted …I want want to be consulted if it is my gift from God
From the desire of being approved …OK
From the fear of being humiliated …OK
From the fear of being despised…OK
From the fear of suffering rebukes …OK
From the fear of being calumniated …too big of a word
From the fear of being forgotten …OK
From the fear of being ridiculed …OK
From the fear of being wronged …OK
From the fear of being suspected …OK

These next ones are the whoppers:

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. I don’t desire it nor would I ask for such a gift.

That others may be esteemed more than I …I could say that I would be as esteemed as I should be, not more not less
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …to the measure of the good
That others may be chosen and I set aside …That others may be praised and I unnoticed …I want to be used
That others may be preferred to me in everything…no thanks

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…if self-abasement is the Holy, I’ve never quite got this litany.

If the first part said, ‘Give me peace Jesus,’ instead of ‘Deliver me, Jesus,’ I could say it with a sincere love. The second part, give me grace to accept it, but I really don’t desire it.  The attitude of I want to be little and nothing and OK with not being loved, just doesn’t feel quite human.  If this is humility, I think I have a ways to go.

Dear readers, what do you think?