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I held Him in my arms and began to shake, my son, lifeless and still warm. I kissed him and told him that I loved him. I began to sob knowing that he was gone. So much love, while my wife’s life held in the balance. I carried him to her after she was out of surgery; she was so weak and pale. She could not lift her arms to hold her son as I approached her bedside.

She began to cry and under the tears I could hear her say looking into her broken husbands eyes, “Did I kill my baby, did I kill my baby?” All I could muster out of my lips were, “It’s all love, it’s all love,” as I placed my precious Peter next to her pale face. We three embraced with holy affection, our faces clinging to his little head, amongst tears and love.

So tired, so weary with the journey.  How much more can I take Lord?  How much love can a man know in a single life.  In Christ all is life and death has lost its sting. And my little Son was bringing life to my family of eleven children.  A cry of wailing broke out amongst my children that their little brother had gone to be with the Lord.  So much love, so much grace.

My eldest children around my wife praying over her blessing and love.  My first born was set free in the fullness of Christ all the way to a vocation to the Priesthood.  His little brother offered up his life for my firstborn’s eternal redemption.  So much love and grace, all the way to a vocation to the Priesthood–hilarious grace.

My second born and my eldest daughter were riding home with me and my eldest and out of compulsion he rolls down the window in our family suburban and yells from the top of his lungs the name, ”Peter!”  As tears of life, light, and love poured down this proud father’s face.

Peter, you are the first to go before us to our eternal reward, and the last of my children.  I am your Father and I love you with everything I am and we will meet again in an eternal embrace. My Son, My Son, I shall never leave you or forsake you, My Son, My Son.

God is love.