Reflections Gen 6–Finding the One
The sons of God and the daughters of men, the effect is death. It could read just as well for my purpose the daughters of God and the sons of men. What does light have to do with darkness? How many Christian souls have I observed attempt to do dating evangelism, or the God’s will clause.
Jesus only had one Judas, and that was determined so the Scriptures could be fulfilled. There is always the exception in any situation, but more than likely you are not, for your daughter or son dating a person without faith. I married a woman at the ripe old age of 20 that was an agnostic, and to my surprise as a young man she acted like one. Would I take it back if I could? No, I would not, it destroyed any romance with sin I had in my youth, but only as pain. Marriage is not a sacrament of pain, but a union and communion of joy and peace that should make both parties free to grow as love for love. Infatuation is not gift or love, nor is co-dependence, or covetousness. Have you ever felt coveted by another? It feels somewhat good if you are attracted to the person, but know this it is not love. It is a self-love masked as gift. You are the object to be desired for the others end, until they covet something else.
Only God is pure gift, to live in God is to live in gift, to be gift. Marriage is not the place for a one directional gift. Marriage is the place where mutual self-giving is explored to the depths of the love of God. You could even say marriage is Trinity, in that three beings enter into selfless gift one to another. You, your spouse, and God giving love for love.
Looking on another and desiring them, when the image of God is faint, tells something of the condition of your own soul. We often are attracted to what we are, or perhaps we are driven by insecurities within ourselves and a need to play the hero.
I have even witnessed individuals think it is safe to date a weaker needier soul, as if they would value or respect what you were offering them. The safest soul is the one that loves God, even if they are not doing summersaults within your presence.
After the biological high settles, what is one left with but personhood? Passion, physical attraction, or the blinding powers of human desires are the last sources we should use when discerning spousal love. If we wish to discover beauty, behold their love for God. Observe souls before a romantic love interest is born.
When people have that initial spark of interest, they are least acting like themselves. More times than not this is not calculated or even premeditated behavior, it simply is hormones on overdrive.
The history of a person is a great indication of who they are. Are they worshipers of God? Do they go to Church faithfully? If they cannot be faithful to God why in the world do you think they would be faithful to you?
I am not saying you should measure a person by their past failures, what I am saying is pay attention. Ultimately all a person has to give you is what they are, and you, up to the point of meeting them, has had nothing whatever to do with their development.
You are not called to marry a project, but a partner.
The simplest plumb line is this–do they love God? The depth of love and commitment to God will directly relate to the love and capacity they have toward you. And finally regarding you, that same standard applies. You want to be loved? Then be love. You wish to attract a love? Then love God. Make God your aim of love, and a partner will find you as you find yourself in God.
Two thumbs up. I’m making my oldest two read this. 😉
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