Friday night our parish offered a gathering for married couples. This month, we had guest speakers who work in ministry at a college not too far away. Charismatic Catholics, reminiscent of our own Steve here. Married for eleven years, they shared how they tapped into the glory of Heaven here on Earth. Jacob’s ladder…the gates of heaven, by which we overcome the gates of hell.

He had the courage to expose his greatest weakness to his wife. The darkness of sin. Can I? There is so much never said.

This goes back to the issue of distraction. Thoughts need release. One huge heartbreak can’t be overcome in a day, in hours. It returns. Every prayer returns to the pain. Looking for guilt. Is it there? Where do I find release? Make an appointment, have to explain? Finally, broken, I turn to my husband. My mind quiets. I can move a little farther on.

Vulnerability akin to treading on an icy lake in March. Is it safe? Try one slow step. Wait. Maybe another.

The couple started with 15 minutes of quiet prayer in the morning together. Gradually increased. Fed a desire, a longing for the presence of God. What I want. I desire to desire the Lord. That’s where I’m at. How did they start? A novena, but not just for 9 days. A novena … the Sacred Heart. Easy. Then, listening. That’s it! Right there. Not able to listen with all of life happening all the time. All noise. I need intentional quiet. I can’t do it every day. But I can do it some days.

Carmelite prayer…handing over broken bits of my self. Completing the circle. Setting it aside. I’m not sure what it means, but it’s a path forward. A template.